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User blog:The Jonie/Epic Rap Battles of Everything: Sam Houston vs Davy Crockett
Sup motherfuckers. Welcome to the most half-assed shit you can ever find on Wikia. So, every Saturday I'll try to make a battle. So, relax and hear this terrible shit. Let's see the cast: George Watsky as Davy Crockett. EpicLLOYD as Sam Houston. Nice Peter as Alamo warriors. Dante Cimadamore as the Shooter Zach Sherwin as Walt Disney (reused footage, cameo) Let's fucking begin, shall we? EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EVERYTHING DAVY CROCKETT VERSUS SAM HOUSTON BEGIN!!!!!1!! Sam Houston Imma Texas Master, hit you with my pistol blaster Run away faster like you did from your parents I'm from Houston's name, ditched Tennessee for some more fame So you better make this quick, so there's nobody to blame Imma kick this wild cookskin on the damn streets It took me 18 minutes to dice up some Mexican meat. You wanna try me? Your personality is fake. And imma scoop up some some Nashville bits with a rake Because beating you is just a piece of cake! So shut the fuck up Dave, you can't beat me And you only got famous because of Walt Disney! Davy Crockett I'm a raccoon Titan. Spitting hot blue fire rhymes like Poseidon. Why did you leave Tennessee? You could have been the governor you needed to be! Everybody in Texas is a Coen Brothers character! Took too much crack and fucked up in the head If you wanna mess with me I'll leave you like a bear (Dead!) (Oh)! Don't hit me with your cane on Penny-vania Avenue! (Yeah!) Because you'll do anything Andrew Jackson will tell you to! (Wha?) Stay away from Crockett or you might lock it! Watch me take your shit and make it a profit! Sam Houston These beats are making me bore to death! Your personality is Davy Jones on meth. So rap these you dumb shitbag! You'd look more prettier if you were a ripped up rag! Davy Crockett I fought in the war of 1812. Your a racist demon born and raised in hell. It's hard to take some criticism on the inner you. But you cuss, yell, and you get mad too. Sam Houston Man, your judging is worst than your cologne. Settle it in the Alamo, and take (Down!) (The!) (Tone!) I'm an idol, your a fake, you can't touch this! So quit being a baby and take the piss! You should have stayed a Congressman, you could have been alive! You could have been better but you never strive! My raps are a Texas drought because it burns! I'm out to sue random people with William Wirt! Davy Crockett He said take the piss but he ran off! He's a pussy version of David Hasselhoff! But eh! Everything is just fine! Now imma leave and drink some re- Shooter FUCK YOU! *shoots Davy Crockett* I shot that raccoon bitch to toast! WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC R-R-R RAP BATLES OF EVERYTHINGGGG! So yeah. BYE MOTHERFUCKERS Category:Blog posts